22 3 / 2012
I have been married to my husband for 25 years. For the entirety of our relationship he’s been the cook. I love to try new recipes so every once in a while I’ll find a good one and he will make it for us. When we find a recipe that we like, we add it into the mix. The problem is that without fail everytime he makes the recipe again, he alters it in some way. When I ask him about what he added to it he always says nothing until I finally get it out of him. Then it hurts his feelings when I ask him to just make it the way he did the first time. I love his cooking and don’t want to hurt his feelings ever, but wish he’d just stick to making it the way we loved the first time. What should I do?
Dear Pampered Wife,
I feel really bad for you. I mean your husband cooks for you all the time and makes your favorite recipes. What a jackass for adding a touch of paprika. Is it that bad having your own Curtis Stone?
In all honesty give the guy a break. He obviously enjoys cooking and he is just trying to spice things up (intentional play on words alert). On top of that he is a man, and as a man I can say we are dumb as bricks. You telling him repeatedly to stick to the recipe is is going to do as much good as you wishing he was better in bed. It’s just not gonna happen.
If you’re lucky you’ll get another 25 years full of secret ingredients. Make it a game and test your palette. You have it good, be grateful as I am sure he is grateful for everything you do for him (even though you use too much starch on his collar).
Thank me later,
What Brett’s trying to say is that there are a lot of men out there that hate to cook, and lucky for you you’re married to one that loves it. Let him experiment and hopefully you’ll end up liking some of his concoctions.
Don’t forget to write us with your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org
15 3 / 2012
Here’s your next installment of Badvice with Brett. Don’t forget to email us at email@example.com with your questions!
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and when we first started dating we went out all the time with friends for drinks. Since then things have changed; he doesn’t drink anymore. I never really noticed our age different until now (I’m 25 & he’s 29). I think he may just be getting over his drinking days, but I still want to go out. It’s not that I want him to go out and get drunk all the time, but it would be nice to be able to kick back and have a few drinks with him. It almost makes me feel weird that he never drinks and I always am because I just want to have fun with him included. What should I do?
Dear Alcoholic (I kid I kid…only sorta)
I love my crunk juice as much as anyone, so I feel your pain. The solution here is pretty simple, don’t worry about including him in anything. The old man can stay home and catch up with you the next morning. It’s his decision to not drink and we all know people who don’t drink in drinking situations are the living worst.
There is absolutely no advantage to try and include him. The whole point of drinking is to forget about that rough day, loosen up and make some bad decisions with absolutely no personal responsibility. Jamie Foxx nailed it with his seminal work “Blame it” (see below).
"Are you sure you should do that shot of tequilla?", "Do you really want to make out with your best friend?" Ugh, YAWN. From his perspective, he is trying to take care of the woman he loves. From your perspective he is being an annoying Jiminy Cricket. Smash that bug and let loose. You only have so many fun years left. Do you really want to start watching reality TV every Friday night while you talk about your days? I know I am taking full advantage of alcohol while I can!
*All of this does not apply if he is trying to solve a serious drinking problem and not just being an old man. If that is the case then ride or die with your man.
Thank me later,
Brett is not thinking about the most important part of this situation…this man is an important part of your life! You WANT to include him in social outings. I say if he’s okay with not drinking and still has a good time, then that’s fine. You cannot nix your boyfriend out of your social life, that’s no way to have a relationship. I say include him in outings. The best part? You have a permanent DD!
23 2 / 2012
We’ve got something new & exciting to share with you today! Starting today, every Thursday we will be posting Badvice by Brett. This is funny, blunt, & outrageous relationship/life advice from a 25-year-old single guy, of course counterpointed by me. Here’s the first dose for you:
I am completely lost. I have a great boyfriend, he’s so nice and treats me wonderfully (even my parents love him!). The problem is that I just don’t feel the passion for him that I think I should be. We’re always off doing something whether it’s a sporting event, concert, or going out for a bar night. I love doing things and going places, but making so many future plans is making me feel a lot of pressure to stay in the relationship just because of those plans. It’s to the point that I don’t even enjoy when we do things together. On paper he’s everything I could ask for and more and I want it to work so badly because he’s such a great guy, but I’m not feeling 100% into it right now. What should I do?
Dear Dazed and Confused,
Let’s face it, you’re dating a security blanket. Let me continue with this outrageous metaphor to prove my point. In the beginning, the security blanket is warm and cozy and makes you feel safe. A couple months in it is nice and everything, but you’re starting to need more than some warm coziness. A year in and it smells like mildew and has eight holes in it. I hope that makes sense, if not read it again and think very hard about it.
Anywho, my recommendation would be to dump this bro. Take it from someone who has been in your boyfriend’s situation before (I buy things for girls and they proceed to not have fun with me). 100% satisfaction is 100% necessary for a good relationship. Sounds like your parents have 100% satisfaction, but you don’t. If your mom likes him that much she’ll get a divorce and marry him and then he’ll be your stepdad (gross).
Moral of the story…buy a teddy bear. It will be less of a hassle and there will be no pressure.
Thank me later,
I think what Brett is trying to say here is that just because he’s a good guy doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a good guy for you. Sometimes the best people aren’t meant to be together. If your feelings aren’t there it sounds like the best idea is to go your separate ways. I hope this helps & good luck!
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